The Life I Saved
by Fellykins
Summary: When Beckett's apartment goes up in flames because of an explosion, her father's watch goes missing. She can't focus too much on it because of the case at hand and lives, including her own, are at risk, but when the case is solved, Castle brings her a present that brightens her day and makes it all better.


**Author's Note:** I've just gotten into _Castle_, and I'm in love with the show! I'm only halfway through season 4 now, but I've felt really inspired to write about the characters in the show, especially Castle and Beckett. Takes place at the end of 2x17, "Tick, Tick, Tick," and 2x18, "Boom!" but getting a little more into Beckett's head.

"It wasn't Ben Conrad. He's not the killer, the killer's still alive. The killer's still alive!"

The color drained from Beckett's face as she listened to Castle's words. There were so many thoughts rushing through her mind, but she didn't have time to act on any of them. She went back to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Just as the explosion went off, she threw herself back into her bathtub.

He saved her life. Again. She was a little banged up from the explosion, but she was alive.

And then he was in her apartment, risking his own life to get her out. She was naked, having lost her towel in the rush to get to the bathtub before the explosion went off. All of that was burning now, but she was able to cover up with Castle's coat and get out.

Paramedics were outside and ready to patch her up. It was a little while before Captain Montgomery told her the fire was out and she was able to go back into her apartment, but the first things she went for was her necklace that had her mother's ring on it and her father's watch. The necklace she found. It was a little buried under a pile of rubble, but it was there and intact.

But as she searched the nearby area, she couldn't find her father's watch; she normally kept it with the necklace, but it wasn't there. Her heart sank. She couldn't lose her father's watch. Not like this. She could replace her home, her clothes, her towels, her bathrobe… anything else in her apartment was replaceable. The necklace with her mother's ring on it and her father's watch were irreplaceable; the significance behind them was just too important for her to lose them.

"Did anyone find my father's watch?" she asked, glancing around the room.

No response. No one saw it. If her heart was able to sink deeper, it would have.

The case went on, and she was able to continue with it, despite Agent Shaw's best efforts to try and get her off it. Castle let her stay in his apartment, despite her best efforts not to be any closer to him than she already was, and risked his life _again_ to save her from Dunn. She got Agent Shaw get kidnapped in an attempt to lure her out. Beckett and Castle were able to save her, thankfully, and each other in the process.

"He cares about you, Kate. You may not see it, you may not be ready to, but he does," Agent Shaw told her before they parted ways.

She couldn't help but glance over at him as he talked to the rest of her team in the precinct. They were partners, of course he cared. She cared about him too. He was… different than the other partners she had. Something about him made this all easier. He found things that not even she would notice sometimes. He made her smile. He made this hard job just a little bit easier.

Around him she felt a sense of safety. Around him, she didn't feel like she had to fear for her life because he would be right there to back her up or push her out of harm's way without hesitating. The butterflies that fluttered in her stomach any time they were alone together swelled up even now as Agent Shaw talked to her about how he cared.

But those were thoughts for later, maybe even never. Feeling it was one thing. Admitting it was a completely different story.

Castle walked up, having broken away from the rest of the team, and after Agent Shaw left, he took his seat at her desk and placed a small bag on it.

"What's this?" she asked. Castle only responded with a smile and told her to open it, so she removed the tissue paper to see what was inside. "My father's watch," she breathed, picking up the item inside. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied. "I found it in the wreckage and had it fixed."

She smiled. It was so sweet of him to go through all of that trouble. He'd done so much for her through all of this; he'd pulled her out of her burning apartment, he let her stay at his place, he saved her life by shooting Dunn… and then he got her father's watch fixed. Agent Shaw was right; Castle did care. Somewhere, beneath all of that playboy facade was a man who genuinely did care. It wasn't just a partnership between them, she realized; it was something more, but what it was exactly she couldn't place her finger on, or rather, was hesitant to do so.

"I have good news," he said, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"So I talked to Avery about getting one of those fed-mobiles," he said. No sooner had the words left his mouth, Beckett couldn't help but smile and roll her eyes. She got up from her desk and started to walk away, but he was behind her, continuing to ramble about the car and all of the fancy gadgets they could have.

The smile never left her face as they walked. Sure, her relationship with Castle was complicated, probably more on her part than his, and maybe, just maybe, deep down, she could admit that Agent Shaw was right that he cared about her. But as they walked through the precinct and to the elevator, there was one thing Beckett realized she didn't want to lose.

This. His childlike fascination with everything, the silly bantering they had, the way they solved cases together… all of it. For the first time in years, Kate Beckett felt genuinely happy, and as much as she wanted something more, deep down she knew maybe now wasn't the right time.

Perhaps some things were just better off left alone, at least for the time being.


End file.
